By Ellie Mangle-Lero
To see just how hyperactive, hit this link!
I know this is belated, but I was so busy on Friday celebrating the liberation of all God’s Gay Creatures to marry and procreate that I forgot to do my weekly poem! Today, I wanted to do a poem about my 6 year old grandchild. He immediately popped into mind when I read about the horribly racist murder of Freddie Gray in Baltimore. The autopsy blamed the death on “high energy.” Oh boy, do I ever know a lot about “high energy!” Duh! See: Billy! That high energy stuff can kill a person for sure!
Unlike his older brother, who has been on a Vegan diet since he was two, and seems rather listless for a child his age, Billy is just a bundle of energy. At the time of his birth, my daughter and her mating partner were living on a commune, and when it came time to go to the hospital for the delivery, there was some delay in getting the 1988 Subaru Justy out of the mud. The way I hear tell, all four wheels were spinning like crazy, and mud and a greenish-black sludgy effluent from the compost pond was flying everywhere and getting on everybody! Anyway, Little Billy was born right there, in the back seat of the Justy, and covered by all the gook (The organic kind, not the Asian kind. That would be racist!) from the pond. So maybe he was exposed to something? Who knows?
Well, Little Billy is just the most high energy child you ever saw. One minute he is swinging from the drapes like an endangered Orangutan, and the next minute he is humping the ottoman like a frisky little puppy! He never slows down until we give him two or three tablespoonfuls of bubblegum flavored Benadryl. Then he goes right to sleep just like a little angel, although he does twitch and jerk a lot during his sleep, and makes strange howling sounds.
Anyway, without further ado, here is today’s humorous, good natured little poem, which I hope you will all find uplifting!
Billy, oh Billy, you dear little child!
Oh, what in the world makes you act so wild?
You leap from the floor to swing on the drapes,
And make enough noise for a troop full of apes!
You jump on the ottoman, hump it like mad.
What is that strange little smile you just had?
You roll on the floor, you jump on the beds!
Some people would think you are off of your meds!
I chase you around with my cane in the air,
And threaten to spank you on your derriere!
However, I doubt that a spanking would faze you-
I wonder if it would be legal to taze you???
Then, I have to tackle you, and hold you still,
To get you to swallow the pink Benadryl!
You suck on your thumb, as towards Dreamland you fall,
While I ponder if I should switch to Adderall???