By Mick Dumdell
The other day I had my first original thought about the environment. There I was throwing away an empty plastic bottle and thinking about plastic and Sandra Bland, and how plastic was bad for the environment, and how she died of asphyxiation, which is a lack of oxygen and everything, and then KERBLAMM! it hit me! There I was throwing away maybe 16 ounces of perfectly good oxygen inside the plastic bottle!
Then I got to thinking about all the plastic bottles in all the landfills, and all the milk cartons and glass jars in those landfills and all the aerosol cans which still had oxygen in them, and realized that we wasteful humans are burying the very stuff we need to breathe! I picked up an allegedly empty can of Fabreze Hawaiian Aloha Air Freshener out of the trash and held it to my ear and pulled the sprayer, and first, you should point it away from your ear because I got an earful of scented mist in my ear and it made me kind of woozy for a few minutes. So, point it away from your ear and pull the lever and listen to how long it hisses. My “empty” can hissed for about 5 minutes. Even if no scent is coming out, there is still air and oxygen in the can. Now, think of all the aerosol cans in all the landfills.
I tell you, we are simply prematurely burying oxygen, and that stuff will sit in a landfill for two or three thousand years before the plastic or the aluminum corrodes enough to free the oxygen! People and animals could choke to death in the meantime. Therefore, I think that we need a new environmental movement, call it say, The Free Oxygen Movement, or simply FOMENT. We should begin educating people to take the lids off of whatever container it is before throwing the container away. That would have to free up a whole lot of oxygen.
If people are really conscientious, they could open the bottle or container, and while holding it under their mouth, could exhale heavily into the container and then quickly replace the lid. This would have the effect of trapping carbon dioxide (which is heavier than air) and this would help take the carbon dioxide out of the atmosphere for a few thousand years. Maybe by that time future environmentalists will have reversed some of the effect of AGW.
I don’t want to brag, but I thought of this idea all by myself! Pass it along! FOMENT Revolution!
Yours very truly,
FootNote. The Image is from the 1962 film, The Premature Burial. Wiki says:
The Premature Burial (1962) is an American International Pictures horror film, directed by Roger Corman, starring Ray Milland, also with Hazel Court, Alan Napier, Heather Angel and Richard Ney, screenplay by Charles Beaumont and Ray Russell, based upon the 1844 short story of the same name by Edgar Allan Poe. It was the third in the series of eight Poe-themed pictures, known informally as the “Poe Cycle”, directed by Corman for American International.
Roger Corman had made two successful adaptations of Edgar Allan Poe’s (1809-1849) works for American International Pictures (AIP) starring the famous and preeminent horror and suspense star of the 1950s and 60s, Vincent Price.
He decided to make his own Poe film with financing through Pathe Lab. He wanted to use Price, but AIP had him under exclusive contract, so he cast instead Ray Milland. On the first day of shooting James Nicholson and Sam Arkoff of AIP turned up, announcing Corman was working for them – they had threatened Pathe with the loss of their business if they did not bring the movie back to AIP.
Francis Ford Coppola worked on the movie as dialogue director.
Cavett Binion in “Allmovie” notes, “Milland’s performance conveys the requisite amount of hand-wringing torment (in the mode of “The Lost Weekend” movie), even if he fails to capture the manic intensity that Price brought to the other Poe films that he played or starred in. Corman’s deft direction, employing a rich palette of colors and superb widescreen compositions, is on a par with the series’ finest installments.”
Awards and nominations
The film won a 1962 “Golden Laurel” – “Sleeper of the Year” Award.
Here is a youtube video with the narration of the original story:
and here is the full movie: